


lean on me

by thisissirius



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 13:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9236933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisissirius/pseuds/thisissirius
Summary: “They’ve handcuffed him to the car.”the stag-do mishap that aaron's not expecting.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seektheinfinite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seektheinfinite/gifts).



> written for seektheinfinite as part of her 12 days of christmas. hope this is good and that you enjoy it :)
> 
> i'm not used to aaron's pov, but it needed to be him. happy to write in robert's pov if you'd prefer :P

Aaron should have known their stag do would never go according to plan.

They hadn’t chosen to go with Leyla, thankfully, but that left Adam and Vic to plan and Aaron’s starting to realise that wasn’t the best idea. The guest list is varied, though Aaron’s not entirely sure he’d call all of them friends. That said, at least there’s a steady supply of booze, and the last time Aaron saw Robert he was on his way to bladdered, singing off-key while hanging onto Finn of all people.

Though that had been quite a while ago.

Aaron’s definitely gonna go find him, but maybe after some food. Adam keeps trying to palm his kebab off on him, so Aaron finally relents and takes it, squinting to see whether it’s lamb or something else. It’s always hit and miss with Adam. “Where’s Rob?” He asks, around a mouthful of gross, blissful kebab.

Adam shrugs, eyes red from the amount of alcohol he’s consumed. “Dunno. Saw Ross and Cain drag him off somewhere.”

It’s a weird combination of people, Aaron thinks, picking up a piece of lettuce from the polystyrene box. Why do they put salad in there? It’s not like people actually eat it. “They’re gonna tie him to a lampost or summat. Come on, help me find him.”

“Oi Vic!” Adam shouts, right in Aaron’s ear. “We’re gonna find Rob.”

Vic and Carly are whispering together, and Vic raises her head only long enough to nod.

Aaron’s contemplating whether he can actually shove the rest of the kebab in his mouth, when Finn stumbles into view. Aaron abandons the food, tossing it in a nearby rubbish bin, and grabs Finn’s arm. “Have you see Rob?”

“That’s what I was coming to find ya for,” Finn says, a combination of wariness and fear. “He’s freaking out.”

“What?” Aaron’s immediately more alert, brow furrowing. “What did you do?”

“Not me!” Finn says, looking panicked. “Ross said it would be hilarious.”

“The hell it is,” Aaron says, even though he doesn’t know what they’ve done. Whatever this bonding thing going on between Adam and Ross is, Aaron makes a mental note to inform his best friend that it's best Ross doesn’t join them again. “Where is he?”

While Aaron half-leads, half-follows Finn round the back of the pub, Adam following, Finn keeps talking.

“They’ve handcuffed him to the car.”

Aaron doesn’t know why that would affect Robert so much until they round the corner.

The car is dark; there are no streetlights back here and there’s only a dim light coming from the pub windows, but it’s splaying near the row of cars on the opposite side of the street. Ross and Cain are standing near the car, Cain giving Ross an earful.

Aaron lets go of Finn and sprints across the road. Vic’s car is a dark blue which doesn’t help, and when he sees Robert’s face he knows why Finn is worried. Robert’s eyes are wide and panicked, his fingers clutching the steering wheel. Even in the low light, Aaron can see the handcuffs around his wrist, shackling him to the steering wheel.

“Is the car open?” Aaron bellows.

“Look,” Ross says, then seeing the look on Aaron’s face, nods. “Yeah.”

“Where’s the handcuff key?”

“There isn’t one,” Ross says, looking unfazed by the angry stance Cain takes next to him. “It was just a joke!”

“He almost died in a car accident, you fuc-”

Aaron ignores his uncle’s outburst and wrenches open the driver side door.

Robert’s hyperventilating, short sharp bursts of breath that are leaving him red in the face and white-knuckled. He’s shaking too, deep tremors that are causing the handcuffs to rattle against the steering wheel.

“Rob,” Aaron says, voice sounding wrecked.

The tremors aren’t constant, shuddering through Robert’s body and then giving him a seconds reprieve before starting up again. Aaron feels sick, but this isn’t the first time Robert’s panicked like this. Aaron drops down lower, afraid to touch Robert in these moments, and raises his voice.

“Rob,” he says again, voice sharp. “Robert, babe, listen to me.”

There’s a second and Robert’s breath hitches. “’Ron.”

“Yeah,” Aaron feels useless; he’s not good with things like this, terrified that he’s going to make it worse, but every time before Robert’s been grateful, never says anything but good things when he wakes. “Listen to me, okay?”

Robert’s eyes dart to Aaron and then back to the car dash. “Can’t breathe.”

“I know.” Aaron risks touching him, sliding a hand to his thigh and squeezing. “I need you to copy me okay?”

Aaron’s sobering quickly, and he yells a, “Find something to get him out of these damn cuffs,” back to Finn before squeezing Robert’s leg again. “Focus on my breathing, Robert.”

Robert’s eyes land on Aaron’s shoulder. It’s not the best, but Aaron’ll take it. Aaron forces himself to breathe slow, in and out, like Robert does with him after a nightmare, like he does for Robert. It’s a give and take, this thing between them, and he’s constantly amazed how generous Robert is with his love, affection and with the care he hides so often behind sarcasm and wit.

Slowly, carefully, Aaron helps slow Robert’s breathing, watches his grip slacken slightly on the steering wheel.

“You’re okay,” Aaron says, gently. “We’re outside a pub in Leeds.”

Robert closes his eyes, breathing in through his nose, though Aaron’s glad to note it’s slowed considerably. “I thought —”

“I know.” Aaron strokes his hand over Robert’s leg, curls the fingers of his free hand into the hair at Robert’s nape. “We’re finding something to get you out, okay?”

“I don’t wanna be in here anymore,” Robert agrees, voice quiet.

Aaron wants to punch Ross in the mouth, but it’s easy to be here, to want to be with Robert. He pushes up onto his feet and leans in, presses a kiss to Robert’s temple. “I know. We’re going to.”

Robert’s still shaking, eyes still red-rimmed from crying. They should be having a good time, should be enjoying their stag do. Anger and guilt claw their way up through Aaron’s chest, and he buries a frustrated growl into Robert’s hair.

“Sorry,” Robert says, misreading Aaron’s frustration.

“It’s not you,” Aaron reassures him, stroking the back of Robert’s head. “I’m angry at Ross.”

Robert says nothing in Ross’ defence, which isn’t surprising. Aaron doesn’t even know why he’s here. Robert stretches out his fingers. “I hate this.”

Aaron doesn’t have to ask what he means; his own insecurities and fears have been tearing him up for long enough, a wave of destruction left behind him. Aaron’s been terrified to even imagine how they’d get this far, how they’d actually marry, but they are. He noses at Robert’s temple, presses a kiss to his jaw. “We’ve managed this far,” he says, carefully, slowly, thinking about every word. “Robert, you’ve been amazing. We’re getting married and you deserve it, okay?”

“Not that,” Robert says, and Aaron knows, but he doesn’t know how to begin talking about it. “I hate having a fucking panic attack because I’m chained to a car.”

Aaron forces himself to say, “We almost died. I think that affords you some fear.”

Robert lets out a slow breath, and turns his face into Aaron’s neck. His tremors are slowing. “Fire, water. Not many more elements for me to be afraid of.”

It’s supposed to be funny, to lighten the mood probably, but it just makes Aaron’s heart clench. He settles for hugging Robert’s awkwardly.

There’s the sound of someone’s shoes slapping on the pavement and then Finn appears to Aaron’s left. “Found the key.”

“Ross said—”

“Yeah, well,” Finn snaps, looking angrily back over his shoulder. Ross isn’t the most popular of guys right now. “Here.”

Aaron takes the key, even more grateful when Finn gives them distance. “Hey,” Aaron says, releasing Robert’s hair. “I’m gonna let you out now, okay?”

Robert nods, fingers returning their grip to the steering wheel as Aaron unlocks the handcuffs. As soon as his hands are free, Robert pushes up from the seat, giving Aaron barely any time to step away before he’s stumbling over to the grass verge and throwing up.

Aaron’s anger resurfaces, fists clenching by his sides, but Robert’s shaking body prompts him forward. He rests a hand on Robert’s back. He doesn’t say anything; what can he?

“Sorry,” Robert says when he’s done, wiping his mouth.

“It’s not your fault,” Aaron stresses, and regardless of the state of him, pulls Robert into a hug. “I love you.”

Robert lets out a breath that’s more sob, and buries his face back in Aaron’s neck. It’s rare he’ll afford himself such a weakness in front of people, but there’s still more alcohol than sense about him. “I wanna go home.”

“I know,” Aaron promises, and kisses his temple again. It’s a comforting gesture, one they both use when they want to calm the other. “We will.”

It takes Robert a while to stop shaking enough to walk, and Finn approaches slowly, handing Robert his jacket and telling them he’s called Pete to come pick them up.

“Thanks,” Aaron says, and Robert repeats the word, giving Finn a soft, weak smile.

They sit by the side of the road, waiting for Pete’s taxi. It’s not the best end to their stag do, not even remotely near Aaron’s list of things he wanted to do tonight, but it doesn’t matter.

Robert’s hand is in his, they’re pressed tightly together, and when they get home, Aaron’ll put Robert to bed and watch him sleep, worry gnawing at the edges of his own consciousness.

It’s the best thing about them, Aaron thinks; they’re not perfect, never will be, and even when they’re on the edge of breaking, when things have never looked worse, they always come out the other side looking strong. It’s what made him say yes, what made him ask again; it’s what gives him the strength to be the comforting shoulder Robert needs, the person who’ll sit with him while he has a panic attack.

It’s what makes them them.


End file.
